2001-10-04 18:45:48
I got nothin'
I've got nothing to say yet I feel the need to speak out. Or maybe I just can't find a better reason to spend time with my little digital buddy with the blinding white face.
Howsabout we all get on a few buses and go inta town an see that new Serendipity movie? Glerch! (That's the sound bile makes while lapping at the back of my throat) They've been threatening to release this film for nearly a year now and it looks just as fucking stupid today as it did the first time I laughed out loud at the ridiculous trailer. Why? Why the horrible name? Why not Gonorrhea-pepperminty-expe-ali-dosious? Why won't someone grab John Cusack by the throat and yank him from the stage for awhile? Each one of his films is like another page in the long-winded chronicle of his wry and desperate life. I'm beginning to despise the lout, and as a love interest he makes me want to eat my own sick.
There I found something to say. Night.
2001-10-05 13:37:00
2001-10-05 11:38:09
I have the hunger of a thousand hungry chimps right now, and 2 thousand bananas just will not do the trick.
I've been arguing with the teacher in of my internet course lately. In fact, I argue with all of my teachers. Usually because they're wrong; occasionally because they're stupid. This time it's because the old geezer left ambiguous instructions for our latest project. He made it seem as if doing all three projects was important (as part of a book's tutorial) but only one was required as homework. So, I did all three, and turned in the one that fell under the heading "graded project". A few days after it was submitted (I turned it in 2 or 3 days early) he sent out an email (any communication from this guy is always brief and a surprise. I sometimes think the class is taught by a virtual teacher) stating that grades were posted for the week. I went to the site and of course I'm missing two projects. I emailed him to explain and all he said in response was "I'm sorry you misunderstood, but I will have to deduct points for being late." Not my fault dickless! The instructions were vague, and this guy is never participates at all, in any way. Shouldn't he have emailed me before the cut-off date and mentioned that he only received Project 5 and not 3 & 4? Shouldn't he try to understand just a bit? I am never late, and my projects are "A" quality, so why fuck me around? I gotta do something, I work hard for my grades. When I work, that is.
Truman is the suckiest school on the face of the planet, but I can't afford university, and frankly I don't feel quite up to the constant challenge of higher education at university level (nor do I have the time required to do the amount of work universities require). Somewhere in-between would be nice. Teach me but don't make it so difficult that I hate it, and don't be a fuckin' idiot. Too much to ask? I do pay them money after all (my penance for having worked too hard on two jobs, and having earned a bit too much money for their double standards (see what I did there?). Meanwhile kids who stay home and watch TV, can get a free gottdamn ride)
Love, your son
PS I wish I had something happy to talk about for once.
pun***icia
2001-10-05 12:32 pm
i'm guessing that a 2-ton loaf of banana bread would also be out of the question...
and it sounds like your teacher is as dumb as 2 bags of wet mice...
no, actually...
jacasimov
2001-10-05 01:09 pm
if I were allowed to ingest that gastronomical delicacy, sopping in chocolate syrup (it, not me) and served in a trough (or, as my thesaurus suggests "a ditch" or "channel"), then it just might do the trick. Oddly, I still haven't eaten, so now it's a lot more chimps.
I can't wait to make his life a living heck, virtually. I've just got to figure a way to go back in time tell his mother that he was flashing little girls at school. That'll teach him to be some dumb.
Re: no, actually...
jacasimov
2001-10-05 07:54 pm
so dumb, that'll teach him to be so dumb. Jeez, what a maroon!
2001-10-05 22:04:00
2001-10-05 20:25:50
Meanwhile back in the Andes
So here I am, drinking Earl Grey and reading a history of theater book feeling oh so erudite. What a ludicrous farce I perpetrate, and in front of all of these nice people. This book is just awful. Talk about over-dressing your sentences! I must have a learning disability, by the time I get to the end of one of this old chap's sentences I've long forgot what his point was. On top of the fact that some of this stuff is uninteresting, and much is assumed about the readers previous knowledge. I hate him. He is like a stomach ache at a pool party. In case anyone wanted to rush out and pick this book up based on my testimony, it's called "A History of the Theatre" by Glynne Wickham. The primary problem is that it ain't no textbook yet it's being used as a textbook in my theater class. And the problem with that is that one would probably only read this foul greazy tome in real life if one had a deep interest in the theater and was supplementing their already established familiarity with the subject. Me, I don't know nuffin' 'bout the theater, and this book an't really 'elping.
Glynne I will see you scourged, then wrapped in polyester baby blankets and set alight on a Norse whaling wessel, whilst I drink wondka and forget all you've taught.
MUSIC: the white noise of a dying art
MOOD: I don't do "moods," ok sloven
2001-10-06 19:16:00
2001-10-06 17:50:36
Damn it all.
I think I may have inadvertently allowed my health insurance policy to lapse. Not because I'm lazy, or because I don't care; but because I was busy, negligent in my responsibilities, and partially because I held a (now completely annihilated) positive outlook that, in essence, told me that everything will be OK. Here's how it works.
I quit my job and got on the COBRA health plan so that I could go to school full-time. Meanwhile I still have my part-time job. So, every month I have 31 days to pay my bill. However, this past month I've been waiting for a paycheck (a nice one too) to pad my dwindling checking account before I paid my bill. Now, I have enough money in savings and probably enough in checking (like I count?) to pay this bill, but I feel soooo much more comfortable having the money in the account outweigh the money coming out of the account, in at least a 4 to 1 ratio. That's just the way I am. I can't explain it, anything else would invade my comfort-ability zone (or whatever, probably not a real word, but hey, I'm in pain here). So, I got the big check yesterday and tonight I decided to write out my two months of payments-looked at my form and ALLIEGODDAMNMCBEAL!...I had only a 31 day grace period. Ouch, my aching molars! I though it was 45 days. I almost wept. My friend works in the insurance department at my former employer's, and is thus in charge of my COBRA account, I hope to god she would let me know before she allowed me to get terminated. But she has no obligation to, and I don't even know if she has any control over it. I'm really unhappy about it all, and I'm likely to obsess over it till Monday when I can talk to her. I need my dental insurance badly right now, I might even need surgery and I can't do anything without coverage. Fuck. My own stupidity fucks me over again.
It's been a weird day all around. My gf accidentally allowed the dog to escape which really set me off. After she located him, we watched D.O.A. (you know, the 1981 punk rock movie) which is one that I thankfully taped off of an old Beta copy 10 years ago, along with UK/DK, the Decline of Western Civilization (the punk one, duh), the Cramps "live at Napa State mental hospital," and Diamanda Galas "live, something-or-other," yes all on one long playing video cassette. So, we watched D.O.A. and then went to the movies and saw L.I.E. A good film all around but kind of dark and miserable. It's the only film I know of that succeeds (I can't think of any that have even tried) in making a sympathetic character out of a pedophile. A little like a Todd Solonze film but not really funny in any way. Then we came home and watched a little UK/DK and then back into the hateful book that I mentioned in the last entry. After that I checked my COBRA form and everything quickly went to shit, leading me here to this very moment. I sure hope that girl in insurance can help me out 'cause I don't know anything about getting dental insurance, and I don't know if they'll accept me with a pre-existing condition. Sometimes my life is so...irritating. Sigh. That's all.
Goodnight, you lovable vegetables, and all you meatheads too. And everybody else whom I forgot to mention, goodnight to you as well. Pray for me, and if you can't or don't want to, have pleasant dreams about me where I am nice, gentle, my life is well ordered, and my teeth are all in good shape.
MUSIC: microbes eating away at my teeth and gums
MOOD: fearful
2001-10-06 20:15:00
Locked In This House
Locked in this house
most nights and weekends
pick up the telephone
uh-uh
click the tv
uh-huh
Sometime's I just wanna join
the big heartbeat out there
and rush and run and goof
but not too often
mostly I just stay
locked up in this house
staring drifting
yep
locks on both sides of this door
no keys in my hand
but am I even looking for keys
uh-uh
I ain't
2001-10-06 20:15:00
2001-10-06 18:16:50
kaff****inne
2001-10-06 06:22 pm
Who wrote that? Was that you or is that from a song?
jacasimov
2001-10-06 06:46 pm
I wrote it early this morning. I couldn't sleep, which is becoming an every day occurrence. I envy those that can sack out for the weekend, reading books in bed or watching TV and eating ice cream.
2001-10-13 13:57:00
2001-10-13 11:58:47
woozy, so woozy
grlfrnd is staining..............................................................kitch........en.............zzzzzzzz....................door, while I ..........zzz.........um, do homewor.............zzz..........uh, homework. That stuff makes me feel kinda funny....................inside. zzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzz
nite
kaff****inne
2001-10-13 12:07 pm
Are you falling asleep doing homework too? I'm working on a paper. I write 2 pages of notes, sleep 15 min, then start up again. I just drank some Lady Grey tea so hopefully I can get through 3 pages of notes without konking out.
kaff****inne
2001-10-13 12:07 pm
And yes, it's the afternoon! Damn cold, rainy hibernating weather.
ulp.....hmmm, ahm...(waking up)
jacasimov
2001-10-13 01:54 pm
Exactly! I always fall asleep doing my homework, usually either when it's really hard, really boring, or it's just reading-which pretty much covers the gamut. My theater history book and last semester's history text have plenty of highlite squiggles where I was reading and dozed off. God, I hope no one saw me through my living room windows, that would've been hilarious. I'm doing Microsoft Excel homework now, that coupled with the strong benzene scented wave that's wafting around the apartment is making me feel absolute crap.
Tea and exercise is what keeps me going at all anymore. Tea is such a nice non-jittery kind of speed, it's becoming a favorite (especially during the rainy cold weather we're having here) I've never heard of Lady Grey, I assume she's related to Earl, but without all of the whiskers and war starting. Altogether a kinder, gentler tea?
2001-10-14 19:32:00
2001-10-14 17:37:56
today was the last day of the first of my life
My grlfrnd and I went out last night -last night was a bitch for parking by the way, it was raining, people were trolling for spots, and the neighborhoods we visited are getting so popular that it's a downright blistering pain in the ass to get out and have fun. That is one of the main reasons I stay in, cause I can''t be bothered to either pay 10 bucks or spend 35 minutes out of my life looking for parking. And damn if there generally aren't some kind of restrictions to impede my successful parking, Cubs games (yerch), neighborhood stickers required, street fairs, bus stops, something, anything. Always bad luck with the parking, and who's gonna come up to my house and visit me where the parking is good? No one. Because I live in a boring neighborhood, where there aren't any bars, good restaurants, or entertainment facilities around. In California though, we were happy to just hang out, we didn't always have to be out doing shit. Going to someone's house, (even when there was no party going on, God forbid) was fine, sometimes preferable. I don't get Chicago. I need to go home to Cali, or move to Seattle, or somewhere. Anyway...
...first we went to Greecian Taverna where we were met by the most underenthused, apathetic, listless, and therefore, grossly undertipped waiter I have encountered in a long-damn-time. Look here chimp, you don't just get my money cause you're pretty to look at and you muttered "wopah" when you set the cheese afire, you gotta work for it. No winelist? No return visits to the table? No enthusiasm? No eye contact. Fuck you ... pucker up buttercup. Food was really good though, (I had the mousaka) and hell, I saved a few bucks on that tip.
Then, at 10:00, we went to go see the play (or "junk musical" as it characterizes itself) Shockheaded Peter. Holy crap, that was so much fun! I haven't had such a great time in a theater in forever. My mind was just reeling over it, wishing that life could always be so inspirational, energetic, fun, colorful. This show has won and/or been nominated for quite a few awards for director, design, unique theater experience, etc.
The set was like a 1800s villa, with functional windows and doors everywhere, which the actors put to good use. The costumes, make-up, and hair were all fantastic and had a kind of gothic street performer aesthetic. The idea was taken from a book entitled "Struwwelpeter" which was written and illustrated in 1844 by a doctor named Heinrich Hoffman when he failed to find a suitable picture book for his 3 year old son as a gift. His finished book was full of anecdotes in story form that humorously and grimly characterized bad children who did not heed their parents advice to, for instance, groom themselves, refrain from playing with matches, not play with guns, and then what dastardly fates befell them when they did not listen.
The show has elements of Richard Gorey, a tad of Tim Burton, some of Roald Dahl and a smidgen of Brother's Grimm, all in a burlesque-y kind of setting that one might find in a European theater, or an American saloon a couple hundred years ago-or maybe vaudeville. Anyway, it's hard to describe, but it sure made me wish for the times when all entertainment was live and not so dreadfully boring as it is now. You can have all of the pyrotechnic, brainblasting guitar, and harmonized singing dancing leg-humping and pre-rehearsed ad infinitum bollocks that you want but after 40 minutes I'm bored and will leave you all at the bar sipping $8 gin and tonics out of plastic cups to go home and watch reruns of Ally Mcbeal. This show, on the other hand, was a good time, and I could watch it, happily, for the rest of my life.
Life is so dreary and two-dimensional anymore, I don't know how anyone can stand it. I want to jump out of my skin with boredom and monotony sometimes. I want colorful, freaky, clever, intelligent, handhammering, tongueslashing, pigkicking, bloomerdropping fun at all times! Like the movie Moulin Rouge! That's what I want life to be. Not sitting around watching one of 95 tv stations, while my dog has whiny nightmares and my girlfriend has already passed out into a katsudon dreamstate food coma! No...I want more! Do you hear me? I want to run and lash out, yell and holdnothin back, and laugh like a deaf clown, and mugg like a hoppedup goofedout mime, stride like a giant into a sea full of astrobrite paper flowers and giant laughing Mardi Gras heads -some made of fudge and others of japanese curry, and play like a child and reminisce like a drunk sailor in backroom Bangkok, and then just stand back take everything in and wonder. But not in this lifetime, not without madness or LSD.
I will go watch Band of Brothers now and have my Normandy nightmares tonight. I love that show. But that talk is for another night.
Sleep well you sweet dark angels.
2001-10-14 19:48:00
2001-10-14 17:57:27
love and dentistry
referring back to an earlier post, I did not lose my dental insurance, so I have a few more months to get it together before I have to worry. Had two deep cleanings last week, cursed my dentist during the first one, and then came back a lot calmer for the second. It is likely that I will have to have freezedried cow or cadaver bone implanted in my face (yum yum, I hope I can keep my rose scented breath after all that). It seems that this procedure is not very reliable, but what the heck I don't want to lose my teeth due to some freaky aggressive microbes. Oral surgeon had the nerve a few months back to say "I don't want to freak you out, but there is a chance that this could be cancer," and then never did any follow-up biopsy or anything. He was kind of a passive-aggressive dick anyway, couple of rude comments, followed by quick "just kidding's". Anyway, I'll survive, I think.
Even in Siberia, people can live.
2001-10-17 14:58:00
2001-10-17 13:49:06
What can I say?
Today is kind of a nothing kind of day. Not bad, not good.
Waiting patiently for my Kerouac "Some of the Dharma" and X-Files "Season 2" to come in the mail. tap, tap, tap.
Girlfriend is going over to friends house for some kind of girls night thing. I tell you what though, I've got no desire to, at any time, be surrounded completely by men, I just don't have any reason to sit around talking about guy stuff. It's just so 30 years ago to me. But, I guess that's one of the differences between guys and girls. Who can blame them? I happily hang around only girls.
So have fun, I didn't want to go anyway! hmmph.
I almost got hit by a car while walking from school. I was just beginning to cross the street and I saw peripherally a huge aerodynamic light blue sedan was bearing down on me on my right hand side. I usually keep walking at this point because if I didn't I'd never get across a street in Chicago, but she pulled up quick! And there I was nearly face to face with this rabid wildebeest of a woman just glaring at me like I was one of the devil's petty officers and she had a back pocket full of holy scriptures. That look. *shudders* I wish I'd have had a camera. *shudders again* So there I was, inches away from her and we were just frozen in time, we could have kissed...we probably should have after all of that hate. Instead I just grinned at her from behind my sunglasses and she sped off madder than she had been to start with. A woman on the other side of the street just smiled at me and shook her head about the situation. People are mean and evil.
Yesterday was a strange day. I talked to a female classmate after class, and I felt kind of wierd about it. I can't tell when someone is, as my dear granny used to say, getting fresh (heh, makes me laugh to write it) with me, and she seemed friendlier than most people are. But, then is that just my ego responding, telling me that she liked me? I just sat there the whole time trying to devise a scheme to let her know that I have a SO without appearing presumptuous. I just wanted to get that out in case that was her interest in me, and she did ask me to go do something sometime. Shit, who knows, I've been like that my entire life. I just can't tell.
I had a female acquaintance, one time, stop in the middle of a 15 minute or so conversation and say "you know I'm a lesbian, right?" That was so cool. She just stopped in mid-sentence and said it. And since I wasn't thinking about her in that way, it didn't have any effect except to make me kind of stutter out a "n-no, I didn't know that, but um, that's, uh, cool." And from there we finished the conversation and went on our way. My point is that I wish I could be so blunt. But when you make a new friend, sometimes you take them however you can get them, and to blurt out "hey, I've got a girlfriend, OK?" just isn't conducive to growing a friendship. Towards the end I worked it in to conversation effectively, there wasn't any noticeable reaction and the conversation lasted about 10 more minutes.
I must go exercise now, it's really the only thing that can wake my brain up anymore, though I'm certainly in no way a fanatical health freak and I hate most sports with the fiery hot passion of a thousand suns.
Remember kiddies, one Pop Tart is not enough to carry you from breakfast until dinner. *woozy, so woozy*
2001-10-17 17:42:00
2001-10-17 15:48:15
Together
I had a lovely early morning dream
you were there
happy to be with me
we were locked in combat
Our enemy could have been anyone
We brandished steel smooth as Maypoles
and let slip
all things
forever.
2001-10-17 22:06:00
2001-10-17 20:33:11
What is a peeve?
Massive pesto farfalle dinner. I made the pesto from my own basil plants, yum! I love basil! It's like mint without all that annoying mint flavor. If I weren't so likely to become a big fat bastard, I'd still be eating it right now. God, I love food.
Watched that horrible Ben Afleck in that horrible Reindeer Games. Yuck. Almost spoilt my lovely dinner, the cad. Don't watch it unless you're sick in bed fading in and out of consciousness, then it will only seem like you're having a bad Charlize Theron, Gary Sinise dream where Ben Affleck occasionally shows up. That wouldn't be so bad.
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.
I'm going to start a list of pet peeves, so that I can see just exactly how petty and easily irritated I really am. Maybe it will help, or maybe it will just drive me further into despair and madness.
PP #1 I absolutely go nuts when I try to log onto stupid AOL (yeah I know, it was suggested in the Idiots Guide to the Internet so I figured it suited me pretty well) and I type my password, hit enter, the number dials, and then nothing. It just stops with that stupid running man graphic, or whatever it is, in the first little square while the other two squares remain conspicuously vacant. AAARRRRGGhhh! I hate it so.
special treat...
PP #2 I absolutely want to kill every living thing on the planet when my idiot modem tells me I have an incoming call and I get off the internet, and nothing. No freakin stupid call. I hate that. Sometimes it'll happen at two in the morning or so...*flash!* "you have an incoming call," "accept?," "ignore?" Of course I don't have any friends that are foolish enough or drunk enough to call at 2am, but since I'm a gullible rube and I think hey, maybe someone needs help, maybe someone needs to be bailed out of jail, maybe it's Commissioner Gordon, I up and get off and wait..for.....nothing. Fuck! Drives me nuts. If it were a baby, I'd spank it! That's how much I dislike that.
Gosh, I feel all sorts of better now. Phew. Thanks for listening, spotty.
Stay tuned for more later.
Shit, I just got another fucking fake call. Urg. At least I hope it was fake since I ignored it.
Sweetest of sweet dreams, my tranquil friends.
2001-10-18 15:07:00
2001-10-18 13:22:24
non-stop elcetronic peeve-a-thon
PP#3 Why, if dogs have such magnificent hearing, do they continue to make bark and make noise long after I yell "shut the fuck up!"?
I had wayyy too much coffee today, and no food to balance help tone it all down. I had a craving for a cup of Dunkin' Donuts, and I really felt that it would've been wrong to deny myself. I even had a small cup (*aside* If there isn't one already, some superlinguist should come up with an appropriate word to describe a Styrofoam coffee cup, rather than Styrofoam coffee cup, or just a cup.) hoping that it would get me too geeked out. But here I am, locked up in this skin suit, going out of my head. Raaarggghhh. I'm losing it, I need a hearty snack and some exercise.
I really hate where this-war/bombing campaign/human rights/invasion of privacy/constant press conferences reassessing my freedom and role as an American-thing is going. Something just doesn't seem right.
pun****icia
2001-10-18 01:54 pm
personally, i like pet peeves.
i have a whole of them myself, so i might just be biased.
HARD TO SAY.
Re:
jacasimov
2001-10-18 03:51 pm
barking dogs = major pet peeve.
no mistake, there are literally hundreds more where those few came from, if not thousands.
2001-10-19 16:26:00
2001-10-19 15:08:29
A brand new day, just like the last day
Went to an art auction last night. Initially, I had decided not to go since I had a midterm in Computer Information Systems, but at the last minute I decided to be a good boyfriend, skip the halfhearted studying, and go with my gf to the thing - she was working her way towards disappointment because she was going to have to go by herself. It really sucked. It cost so much money just to get in the stupid door. The hors d'oeuvres (yes that's right hors d'oeuvres) were all cold and only about half of them were really worth eating. The "cold tasteless chicken on a stick with attending grape" and "seaman's hat full of pilaf" were especially nasty. The people were rich fucking Chicagoans out to show off their duds and accompanying attitude. They were looking at me like I had a face made out of playdoh or something - the shits. I was itching to clock one of these rich ducks, standing in front of me knowing full well I was trying to get past them. Why do they have to be such bastards?
Anyway the art was mostly photography of the sort that one might find in a stockphotography book, over saturated and more colorful than a mouthful of chewed up skittles. Ugly. There are folk on this LiveJournal that take much better photos than these so-called professionals. Midway through my gf leapt forward in shock as someone walked up behind her. The guy who had invited her to the event decided to grab her from behind in an inappropriate manner, she played it off but I think that it bothered her. If he had been a heterosexual male he would have been filtering his wine through a stomach full of shattered tooth gravel, oh, yes. We just don't do that kind of thing, at least not where I come from. And though he was gay and was unfortunately partially drunk, I still considered giving him the braining of the millennium right there in front of all those nice people. Probably bad machismo-male of me, but who the fuck does that to people and expects not to get punched up by someone's half-drunken boyfriend? Anyway, we came, we saw, we drank wine, got groped, we ate, we left.
Today I had my mid-term, it was all true or false, and frankly I didn't do as good as I thought I might. It's a distance learning course so I had to go to school, sit in a giant well-proxied room, and answer 100 questions about a topic that is primarily visual. I got a "B" on it, but since it wouldn't tell me which ones I got right and wrong at the end (and as far as I know I just have to take it on faith) I don't really trust that outcome. Last semester I took a world civ. class online and there were plenty of answers on the tests that I got right, but until I talked to the professor they were listed as wrong. This happened every test. So it's a bit frustrating to not have any control over the situation.
My friend Jav is trying to talk me into going out tonight to see some group at one of my favorite clubs. He didn't buy any tickets yet and this shows been publicized pretty heavily so I hope I don't get all the way down there and find it sold out. That happened last time I went, and there wasn't anything else to do but sit around and drink...yawn. We'll see what happens.
Got my paid account here on LJ, god bless me, I am now a member of an elite force of crack autobiographical journalists.
PP#4 People honking their goddamn horns instead of getting out of their cars and going to ring a doorbell. If a friend of mine ever sat outside my house and just laid on his horn for minutes at a time, well I tell you we'd have troubles. I don't go in for that kinda stuff. People are more lazy and selfish than ever right now and I think they all need a good chuff on the chin. Feel free to start this revolution at any time.
"honnnnkkkkk.....honk....honnnnnkkkkk," *silently shuffles up to lazy shit in trashy sedan and yells..."HEY!"* "Huh, wha?" CHUFF! *silently shuffles back to apartment for undisturbed nap*
2001-10-19 17:40:00
2001-10-19 15:51:25
for the record
God I hate to do this, but every once in a while I remember that people might read this journal, and that those people don't know me, so they might not know that when I say I want to beat or behead someone that I don't mean it literally-just venting, as it were, expunging my demons. Having been grossly misunderstood, and thus inappropriately punished, in the past, I felt the need to clear this up. I'm really a big ol' cupcake full of chocolate and golden cakey goodness, topped with a luscious ambrosial cherry.
Carry on, dear reader(s).
2001-10-21 12:27:00
2001-10-21 12:01:36
hot diggidy ding dang doo
Ended up going to the Metro friday night with Jav to see Death Cab for Cutie. This fact would make many a teenage girl squeal with delight and many a boy shed a solitary tear of reverence. It's not that I didn't like them, it's just that I didn't get them. Guess I'm getting old. Hell, when I was a kid we wouldn't have put up with that delicate manflower stuff, it was just so, so, so Emo I think is the term I'm looking for. I got much more enjoyment out of watching the Ghost World girls and gentleboys enjoying themselves than I did out of watching the band. Heads bobbing, smiles everywhere, god I miss those days.
Jav has a knack for picking out some band that neither of us have ever heard of and them insisting that I go with him to see them. I think he gets his info from his much younger friends (of which he has many, bless 'im). In all fairness DCFC did a great cover of "here comes the rain again," pretty relevant as they are from Seattle and have probably been off their medication for some time against doctors orders.
Afterward we met up with John and Christie (such a cute young couple, and nicer than Jesus) and Jeanie (sp?) and her ambiguous "friend" Bob (boyfriend, friend, brother? Who knows.) at the Gingerman and had many short fat beers. Eventually we made our way out into the streets, sans John and Christie, and headed south in Jeanie's car, to Club Foot. What a noxious gas that was.
Upon opening the door (having never been to the place before, and thus not knowing what to expect) we were assaulted with the usual crowd noise, the hipper Wicker Park crowd, some old school punk rock music (to their credit) and a bar done up in a 1985 subculture decor. As you walk in there are 8x10s next to the door featuring all manor of punk rock miscreants from the 80s, X, the Dead Boys!
*aside* the other day I had a dream about Stiv Bators (long dead now). I was asking him for his autograph, something I would not, as a former self respecting punk, ever have done. I felt awkward about asking but it seemed that I had some subconscious knowledge of his impending death, so I felt I had to ask. He was quite polite about giving it, and began scrawling it on what I think was an 8x10 (coincidence?) He wrote his name first then asked me what mine was so that he might personalize it a bit. I said "Jack" and he stopped and looked up at me smiled, and said "Jack? That's pretty". WTFF? I still laugh about that every time I think about it. Pretty? Hardly. It was just weird on so many levels. And that was pretty much all for that dream segment. (I'll talk about the dream about the McDonald's doublethick, vitamin milkshakes later)
Anyway, I noticed the Dead Boys photo (which was just a picture with no caption or band name) and said how cool I thought it was that this place had such a thing, to which Jeanie remarked that she really liked the Dead Boys. I was so impressed. Not only is she at least 10 years younger than me, but she didn't really seem to be a punk aficionado at first glance. Oh, how wrong I can be about people, and then how wrong again after I figure them out a bit (her real punkness would manifest later on).
We got drinks and stood in the back and watched the young hip kids play pool, and poked each other in the ribs over their affected mannerisms and appearance. I have a slight problem with ability of kids today to slip on any skin suit (and accompanying hairstyle) that they feel sums up their current mood. Rebellion is just a style for them which they will-most likely, cast off as soon as it becomes unfashionable or unsuitable as casually as they adopted it in the first place. These kids were some kind of teddyboy/rockabilly/skinhead/scooter fan/hotrod geek hybrid that I couldn't quite place. Eventually we tired of their superficial ways and their constant grabassing and took off to eat at Arturro's 24 hour kickass mesican food joint. It was 2:20 at this point and I was starvin' like Marvin for a Cool J song.
We ate like fat sow mothers. Bob's eyes were so big that he ordered two pollo burritos to everyone else's one, I don't know if he thought someone else was paying or what. Eventually we finished up and went outside, and began the parting process. Jav hailed a cab and told Jeanie to make sure that I got a cab up north where she and Bob were heading. I could have picked one up right there, but why not save a few dinero? Jeanie, being Jav's pal, not really mine, (though I think we all got on quite well), said that she would and Jav disappeared into the early morning. As we got into the car Jeanie said that she would take me home but she had to get home herself, to which I said that that was fine and I could manage from wherever she dropped me. Of course, that was going under the assumption that Western Ave, the street we were heading north on and the one that came within a 10 minute hike from my house, would have one single available cab.
To Jeanie's credit she did take me a few blocks further north than she had intended, but I was still dropped off in the empty Chicago streets nonetheless, as she explained that she had to get the car home to her mother, and drove off with Bob staring vacantly at me out the passenger side window. I really could provide no argument to her explanation of having to leave since I didn't know her well and had no real expectations of her, and of course she owed me nothing. But still, I was wishing that she could have gone the extra miles (as it were) and taken me to my door, a ten or fifteen minute drive at most.
At this point it was maybe 2:45 and there were very few cars out and no cabs, so I started walking north. I probably walked over a mile before I realized that I wasn't going to be getting any rescue from the inhospitable streets and called home. My gf awoke and asked me where I was and I explained everything. She sounded disappointed for me, and a bit drunk, having returned from a night out only recently herself. She offered to get up and come pick me up, which was nice, but I still had hopes of finding a cab, and it didn't seem like it would be too much further to the house -I was at the 3100 block at this point and only needed to be at 4900 and then a few blocks west (which seemed drunkenly doable at the time).
I walked a bit more and finally at 3600 I spotted a cab coming the other way, with yellow "vacant" light glowing, so I held up my hand and his vigilant hawkeye spotted me. He swung around and picked me up, and a $4.10 cab ride later I was within a few blocks of my house. I made him pull over and let me out so I wouldn't have to deal with counting out any more money than a fiver (yep he only made 90 cents for saving my tired ass). I walked home the remaining three blocks, happy to be in my 'hood again, and relieved to be done with Friday night and with uncongenial kids that live at home with their mothers.
2001-10-22 14:59:00
2001-10-22 13:18:02
gek...I feel lightheaded....
My apartment is swimming with cleaning product smell right now. That Pinesol junk just knocks me out, weee!
Took my theater class midterm this morning. Pretty sure I aced it. That'll make up for the fuck up in CIS120. I thought I had everything goin' on, but so many people left before I finished and they were turning in, what looked to be, pages of stuff while I was still on 3/4 of the way through one page, even the people that I thought were dummies were kicking my ass. Not that it was a race, but I kind of equated clarity of thought with speed to some degree. Hey, maybe I'm the dummy. Shit.
After that I arrived early at my Lit. class and took a test there, which the teacher claims is not the mid-term, and still hasn't given us the date for it. This one was a 500 word essay test on 1 of 5 short stories that we'd read, it was pretty simple and I over shot the limit by about 150 words. If you've ever read a single journal entry here you'd know that being concise is not my strong suit. It seemed to be going well for a while, but I eventually got to feeling rushed and just kind of burned through it. I didn't proofread it, I just printed it up and just handed it in as it was. I don't have any idea at this point if I made my case clear or not, but at some point you just have to go for it to get it done and say fuck it. We'll see.
Brought home a baby basil plant in case the one that I have stops producing. It has started to flower and though I quickly pinch the flowers away, I hear that that doesn't work and that they will stop making big juicy delicious leaves at this point, which scares me since I've become such an addict. It's just a wee one and it's just sitting here on my desk smelling good and looking tasty. Too bad it can't just stay here, but it needs its sunlight.
2001-10-23 15:09:00
2001-10-23 13:23:07
Got really good feedback in my creative writing class today. Not a negative comment in the bunch. The teacher was oddly complimentary and wants to see more fiction. He's liked little of my poetry, can't say that I blame him. I mostly do it as an exercise. But still wouldn't it be great to be awesome in every undertaking? I have no barometer for my poetry at all since I've never really written it, (so I can't compare it to my earlier work) and I don't really read it (so I can't compare mine to the famous poets of the past and present, though I am starting to enjoy their efforts). So, like most everyone else, it's my first time putting my work out in front of others, and though it would be great to find that I had a natural affinity with poetry, I really never really expected anything. I just wanted to not embarrass myself.
Watched Blow last night. What did people ever see in that movie? It was overlong, boring, and approached an interesting topic in a very dry manner. I wouldn't suggest wasting time with that film, even if you're a huge Depp (or dope) fan.
Time to get to work. Not me, you.
2001-10-26 09:36:00
2001-10-26 07:58:45
Religion Test
1.? Neo-Pagan (100%) ??
2.? Mahayana Buddhism (96%) ??
3.? Unitarian Universalism (93%) ??
4.? New Age (93%)
5.? Liberal Quakers (91%)
6.? Theravada Buddhism (87%) ??
7.? Taoism (86%)
8.? Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (68%)
9.? Secular Humanism (65%)
10.? Jainism (59%) ??
11.? Hinduism (53%) ??
12.? New Thought (53%) ??
13.? Sikhism (52%) ??
14.? Orthodox Quaker (49%) ??
15.? Reform Judaism (48%) ??
16.? Scientology (47%) ??
17.? Atheists and Agnostics (37%) ??
18.? Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (36%) ??
19.? Bah?'? Faith (34%) ??
20.? Seventh Day Adventist (21%) ??
21.? Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (16%) ??
22.? Orthodox Judaism (15%) ??
23.? Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (10%) ??
24.? Jehovah's Witness (8%) ??
25.? Eastern Orthodox (5%) ??
26.? Islam (5%) ??
27.? Roman Catholic (5%)
Now I'll have to memorize this data so that when folks ask me what I believe I'll have a way to express it in quantifiable terms. I find it hard to believe that I have even a trace of Latter Day Saint or Conservative Christian in me, must've been a trick question.??
pu****icia
2001-10-26 08:18 am
personally, i'm a bit worried.
you really shouldn't be mainlining *anything*, but liberal christian protestants? even heroin is better for you...
Re:
jacasimov
2001-10-26 08:22 am
oh c'mon, I can quit anytime I want, really.
2001-10-27 00:42:00
2001-10-26 23:25:05
Friday night, ain't a damn thing funny...
I spent my whole evening doing my crap Office 2000 homework. Damn that is a maddening book, don't they realize that that is not how people learn? (hey I just noticed that the front face of many of my keys on this keyboard have cute little words like "Italics","New","Cut", and "I love Lucy Liu, she's a fox" on them. What do they do I wonder?) Anyway the book is huge, like maybe 800 pages, and I have one chronologically stunted semester to finish it and a big duffus as a teacher.
My modem is always trying to con me into getting off the internet. Like for instance it's 1:20 right now and it just told me I had an incoming call. Fat chance, chuckles. Can't fool me. I'm already a fool, so there.
Goodnight, you dukes and duchesses of semisweet chocolatey misfortune.
2001-10-29 23:16:00
2001-10-29 22:10:15
I feel like I'm moving into an angry, protective, self destructive phase...again. Like a tractor tire full of angry cats and shit rolling down a hill, heading for the interstate.
I start seeing things through another set of eyes, and it seems that everything before me is an obstacle to overcome and it makes me angry. Consequently, when I feel like the world is out to get me or it's getting too big to contend with I put up the defenses and everything becomes a thin, filmy, sanitized version of itself that's maddening but is much easier to deal with.
I never know what the cause of all this is, maybe not enough sleep, too many responsibilities, or perhaps it's just part of a cycle I go through. It certainly would be best if knew the root cause.
The unfortunate part of it all is that once these feelings return to normal a small piece of me has changed. A subtle shift occurs. Maybe that's how we evolve and grow, through small series of changes. Or maybe not.
Oh well, this too shall pass.
Watched Startup.com, what a depressing movie. I hate the business world. I hate yuppies. Look what they've done to us all. Penises. (see I told you I was in a bad space) As I was watching the documentary on the documentary (the film appears to have been made by 2 women) I was struck by how different men and women are, and how much more free they seem to be, mentally, especially now. I'm envious. They don't have to operate within the tight ridiculous confines of masculinity and hostility, and by this I mean that they aren't prisoners of it, aren't ruled by it (oppressive spouses and male dominated marketplace aside). We really are just a sad heap of angry little idiot boys who are pretending to be grown up because that's what is expected of us by the rest of the pretending grown-up men. Damn us. Are women just pretending too? If so why are we all pretending when we could just come clean and admit it and get life going forward? I know, because some group of power-mad usurpers wouldn't go along. They'd claim that they were grown up, that they had no idea what we were talking about, and that we were all obviously unfit to govern ourselves...and then they'd enslave us all (only they'd be the biggest pretenders of all). The biggest problem is that we can't get beyond our big fat egobrains and communicate with one another. The only ones that truly have an edge in this arena are the simple and the highly intellectual. They can at least, respectively, either not concern themselves with the trivial matters of deceit out of a lack of understanding of it, or they are able to get as close to the heart of the matter as is humanly possible through their ability to articulate; their mastery of the language.
Agh, who knows, I gotta go.
Goodnight you mung bean eating masters of immorality.
2001-10-31 09:53:00
2001-10-31 08:06:16
shagged, fagged, and fashed
OK, maybe things aren't as bad as I'd imagined when I wrote my last entry. I may have been tired or just in a rotten frame of mind. Who knows?
I'm still a bit knackered after drinking megamargarita's and eating a two-man portion of mexican food. So, now I've got to run off to school and sit there through that shite while I've got such a swimmy gulliver. Supposedly we are to watch Shakespeare in Love in my theater class today, which we'll finish next week. Seen it, lived it already. I didn't really like that movie much to begin with, and I don't think it'll fair much better on a TV in hot little room with the teacher chattering away during the whole thing. Oh well, at least the costume design and art direction were fantastic, and Judy Dench was a phenom as 'liz'beth.
Have a great greazy meatloaf sandwich of a day.
2001-10-31 14:44:00
2001-10-31 12:49:15
Well, that's it for him then
Had to leave my lit. class, the teacher was being a class "A" asshole. He's about the stupidest, most self-centered buffoon I've ever had for a teacher. I'm sure he's a nice fella outside of class, OK, no I'm not sure of that at all, I bet even his kids think he's a dickweed. I just couldn't sit there and let him throw around racial epithets over and over, even if he was taking them from a story and using them to make a non-racist, or antiracist statement. I just can't stand the tone of his voice, his hunchedback posture, how he always has to yell to the class when making a point - frequently hollering over a student that he has called on to answer a question. And I really can't take the constant racial slurs. He is an ass in the first degree, and I wish I had some kind of power to keep him from teaching these kids.
I've tried to intervene on behalf of students before regarding evil teachers but it so blew up in my face. Hell, this guy is incapable of finishing one coherent sentence, I kid you not. A spaz, a teacher, and a moron; all the best qualities rolled up into one fatbellied, baldheaded, blabbering chimp. I really shouldn't have to listen to his shit. Hmph.
kaff****inne
2001-10-31 01:12 pm
What an asshole! Can you make a formal complaint to a Dean or something about him and his unacceptable behavior?
jacasimov
2001-10-31 02:16 pm
The last time I tried to do something about a teacher who was yelling at kids and penalizing a few students unnecessarily, it ended up costing me some grade points. The head of the department also backed her up and I think told her who was making the complaint, it was a really uncomfortable situation. So, now I'm nervous, not that I wouldn't say anything at all, but I now weigh my case before taking any action. I could easily see this guy taking the "it's literature, it's right there in the book" defense. In all honesty, he was making a point about a racist character, but to keep using those terms over and over to make his point just seemed excessive and really unnecessary to me. I just couldn't help wondering what the students of different ethnic backgrounds were thinking.
It's also odd that in this book so many of the stories have racial conflicts, at least a third of them, and it just seems convenient that this teacher utilizes these stories, in particular, to make some of erroneous points.
I'll give him one more chance I think, before I do something about it. It just seems wrong to me.
It is a ridiculous clown college.
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